Partner Tested Positive – What Should You Do Next? A Calm, Step-by-Step Guide

First: Take a Breath

Finding out your partner has tested positive for a sexually transmitted infection can trigger a whirlwind of emotions – worry, confusion, anger, or fear. All of these feelings are valid.

But here's the most important thing to know: this is manageable. STIs are common, most are easily treatable, and finding out means you can both take action. Let's walk through this together, step by step.

Step 1: Understand What You've Been Told

Before doing anything else, make sure you understand the situation clearly.

Questions to Ask Your Partner

• Which STI did they test positive for? Different infections have different implications
• When did they get tested? This helps establish timelines
• Have they started treatment? Important for your next steps
• Were they tested as part of [routine screening](/sti-testing) or because of symptoms?

Don't Jump to Conclusions

• A positive result doesn't necessarily mean infidelity – many STIs can remain dormant for months or years
• You may have given it to them – without even knowing you had it
• Timing is often impossible to determine – focusing on blame isn't helpful

This is about health, not judgement.

Step 2: Get Tested Yourself

Regardless of whether you have symptoms, you need to get tested.

Why Testing Is Essential

• Many STIs cause no symptoms – you could be infected without knowing
• You need a baseline – to know your status and guide treatment
• Testing protects future partners – knowledge enables responsibility

When to Get Tested

Timing depends on the specific STI:

If you're within the window period, you may need repeat testing.

What to Test For

Don't just test for the STI your partner has – get a full STI screen including:

• Chlamydia and gonorrhoea (urine sample or swabs)
• HIV (blood test)
• Syphilis (blood test)
• Hepatitis B (blood test)
• Any other tests your clinician recommends

Where to Get Tested

Options in the UK include:

• Sexual health clinics (GUM clinics) – free, confidential, no GP referral needed
• Your GP – can arrange testing
• Online testing services – home test kits posted discreetly
• Private clinics – faster results, more flexible appointments

Step 3: Understand the Specific STI

Different STIs have different implications. Here's a brief overview:

Bacterial STIs (Chlamydia, Gonorrhoea, Syphilis)

• Curable with antibiotics
• Treatment is typically straightforward
• You'll both need to complete treatment and wait before having sex again
• Follow-up testing may be recommended

Viral STIs (Herpes, HPV, HIV, Hepatitis B)

• Not curable but manageable
• Herpes and HPV are extremely common and often cause minimal problems
• HIV is very effectively managed with modern medication
• Hepatitis B may clear naturally or require ongoing monitoring

Parasitic STIs (Trichomoniasis, Pubic Lice)

• Curable with appropriate treatment
• Usually quick and straightforward to treat

Step 4: Avoid Sexual Contact (For Now)

While you're waiting for test results and completing any treatment:

Abstain From Sex

• All sexual contact should be avoided, including oral sex
• This prevents re-infection between partners
• Also protects any other partners

How Long to Wait

• Bacterial STIs: Typically 7 days after treatment completion (or until symptoms resolve)
• Check with your clinician for specific guidance
• Both partners should complete treatment before resuming sex

Step 5: Complete Treatment Properly

If your test comes back positive, follow treatment instructions carefully.

Tips for Successful Treatment

• Take all medication as prescribed – even if symptoms improve
• Avoid alcohol if advised (particularly with metronidazole)
• Attend follow-up appointments – some STIs require test of cure
• Don't share medication – your partner needs their own prescription

Partner Treatment

• In some cases, you may be offered treatment before your results come back (epidemiological treatment)
• This is particularly common for chlamydia and gonorrhoea when exposure is clear
• It helps prevent ongoing transmission

Step 6: Have the Conversation

If you haven't already discussed this in depth, it's time for an honest conversation.

Create the Right Environment

• Choose a private, calm setting
• Avoid having this conversation when angry or upset
• Allow enough time to talk properly

Focus on Health, Not Blame

• Remember that STIs don't indicate cheating – many remain dormant for years
• Focus on what you're both going to do now
• Support each other through testing and treatment

What to Discuss

• How you'll both get tested and treated
• Whether you need to notify any other partners
• How to prevent future transmission
• Any concerns or questions either of you has

If Trust Is an Issue

If you're worried about infidelity, that's a separate (though related) conversation. Consider:

• Having that conversation once the immediate health issue is addressed
• Speaking to a counsellor if needed
• Being honest about your feelings while avoiding assumptions

Step 7: Notify Other Partners If Necessary

Depending on the situation, you or your partner may need to notify previous sexual contacts.

Why Partner Notification Matters

• Previous partners may be infected without knowing
• They need the opportunity to get tested and treated
• It helps stop ongoing transmission in the community

Options for Notification

• Tell them yourself – directly and honestly
• Use clinic services – many sexual health clinics can notify partners anonymously on your behalf
• Online notification tools – some services allow anonymous messages

You don't have to do this alone – clinic staff can help.

Step 8: Protect Yourselves Going Forward

Once you've both been treated and cleared, think about future prevention.

Consistent Condom Use

• Condoms significantly reduce (though don't eliminate) STI transmission
• Use them for vaginal, anal, and ideally oral sex with new or casual partners

Regular Testing

• Get tested between partners
• Test regularly if you have multiple partners
• Routine screening catches asymptomatic infections early

Open Communication

• Make STI discussions a normal part of new relationships
• Knowing each other's status removes uncertainty
• Regular testing together builds trust

Consider PrEP (If Relevant)

• If HIV is a concern, PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) is highly effective
• Available free on the NHS for those at higher risk

Remember: This Is Common and Manageable

STIs affect millions of people every year. Having one – or finding out your partner has one – is not a moral failing. It's a health issue, and health issues are addressed with information, testing, and treatment.

The fact that your partner told you shows trust and responsibility. The fact that you're reading this shows you're taking it seriously. Those are both good signs.

We're Here to Help

If you've been told your partner has tested positive, don't wait – get tested yourself. Our confidential testing services provide fast results and supportive clinical care, helping you take control of your sexual health.

Book your test today and take the next step with confidence.